Are you single?

No. Meet my boyfriend here.

Who is the target audience for this blog?

I think most of my readers are gay, bisexual, and queer men, but this blog is for everyone — men, women, and everyone in between. I answer questions from queer folks, straight folks, younger folks, older folks, and from people all over the world. I welcome and appreciate perspectives (and feedback) from people with different views from mine. This blog is an anti-racist, sex work-affirming, and sex-positive place on the internet where everyone is welcome, disagreement is encouraged, and speech is free (insofar as WordPress allows).

No. I do not have sponsored posts on this blog. My work as a copywriter has given me access to certain brands and their products, but none of my clients have ever paid me to promote their products here, and I would not do so if asked. The products I recommend are ones I have personally used or have some personal experience with.

I don’t see ads. How do you make money?

I don’t. This blog is 100% free and supported by readers. WordPress prohibits sites featuring “adult content” from having ads, so this blog cannot generate ad revenue. Read my report in Out Magazine about how this censorship and demonetisation— a direct result of FOSTA/SESTA — disproportionately targets LGBTQ+ content.

Where else can I see your work?

Buy my book. I also write a sex column in print issues of Out Magazine, so please subscribe. Check out my sex column in The Advocate and visit my website for a sampling of my past and present work.

Why is your nickname “Beastly”?

This blog started as a classroom assignment during my last year of college. Everyone in the class had to start a blog, and we were graded on our content, web traffic, and so on. The blog’s original title was “The Psycho Ex-Boyfriend” but a British friend suggested changing the name from “psycho” to “beastly” — an English term for “ugly” or “terrible” — and “The Beastly Ex-Boyfriend” (or TBXBF) was born. Later, I would shorten the name to simply “Love, Beastly”.

When I started this blog, I was going through a rough college breakup. My ex was telling everyone what a slut I was, so I started this blog in retaliation, intending it as a tell-all about all the sex I was enjoying without him. Those early posts were mean-spirited and have since been deleted. I hold no grudge against him. I hurt him pretty badly.

I am grateful to him for making me start this blog — which, in a way, launched my career. The blog generated buzz in my school’s writing department and somehow got the attention of a queer lifestyle magazine in Chicago, which then hired me to write a sex column. That magazine no longer exists, but it paved the way for my work at The Advocate — the longest-running LGBTQ magazine in the world and the first publication to give me a real job.

Remember that British friend? One day in class, he called me “Beastly” as a joke. The class was critiquing my blog. The nickname stuck and became my monicker in the kink and fetish community.

I sent a question a while ago. Will I ever get a response?

The answer is probably yes — I respond to most messages I receive. I add them to a queue and the queue is long, so it could take some time before I get to yours. If you want to jump the line, please join my Patreon. Supporters on Patreon get immediate answers, along with many other perks.

All that said, I do not answer questions that I cannot accurately read or that are very long, and I don’t respond to multiple questions from the same email address (this feels like harassment and I don’t like it).

Where can I purchase your art?

Please message me directly via my website. I am taking commissions.

I am looking for a writer. What is the best way to contact you?

Please email me via my website.

You do book readings and speaking events. What is the best way to contact you for an event?

Please contact my publisher at patrick@unboundedition.com, or use the Unbound Edition Press contact page.

I am interested in your companion work. How should I contact you?

Contact me via the Ask Beastly contact form or — even better — message me directly via RentMen (this site is NSFW).

Do you have an 18+ Twitter?

Yes. @FFriendlyBeast.