How often do you post new content?
Weekly — usually every Wednesday (or “humpday,” fittingly) — but sometimes life happens, which causes posts to go live on Thursday. Click the follow button at the bottom of any page to be notified when new posts publish.
Are you single?
Who is this blog for?
I think most of my readers are gay, bisexual, queer, and questioning men, but I write this blog for everyone — for men and women and everyone in between, for trans folks and cisgender folks, for queer folks and non-queer folks, for kinky punks and vanilla babies. This blog is an anti-racist, sex work-affirming, sex-positive corner of the internet where everyone is welcome.
I see toys and other products recommended in your posts. Are these brands paying you?
No. I do not have sponsored posts on this blog. My work as a copywriter has given me access to certain brands and their products, but none of my clients have paid me to promote their products here, and I would not do so if they asked. The products I recommend are ones I have personally used or have some experience with.
I don’t see any ads. How do you make money?
I only make money through donations from readers, preferably through Patreon. WordPress calls my blog “adult content,” even though none of my images show nudity, and therefore will not allow me to feature ads, create paid content, or accept donations through the WordPress platform. Demonetization is a common censorship tactic, a way to indirectly ban sex-oriented content. (Read my report in Out Magazine about how this censorship disproportionately targets the LGBTQ community.) I kindly ask for tips and support on Patreon at the start of every post. Every dollar given helps me run this site.
I love this site! Where else can I see your writing?
Go buy my memoir — though bear in mind that parts of it are very sexually graphic and there are depictions of non-consensual sex. I also have a print sex column in Out Magazine, so please subscribe and support independent queer journalism. Check out my sex column in The Advocate and visit my website for a sampling of past and current work. If you’re interested in my illustration work, check out my art on Instagram and DM me there regarding commissions.
Why is your nickname “Beastly”?
This blog started as a class assignment in my last year as an undergrad. Everyone in the class had to start a blog, and we were graded at the end of the class on content, web traffic, and so on. This blog was originally titled “The Psycho Ex-Boyfriend” but a friend from London suggested changing the name from “psycho” to “beastly,” a British term for “nasty” or “terrible,” and “The Beastly Ex-Boyfriend” (or TBXBF) was born. At the time, I was going through a nasty breakup, and my ex was telling mutual friends how awful I was, so I started this blog in childish retaliation. I intended it to be a tell-all of the sex I was enjoying without him. Those early posts were mean-spirited and have since been deleted. The blog generated some buzz in the writing department and I started receiving messages from peers asking about sex. (I was president of the LGBTQ student group on campus, so questions like these were not especially uncommon.) I did not start answering sex questions on this blog until years later, and during that time, this blog waffled awkwardly between film reviews and personal posts. In the end, I took a cue from my friend Dan Savage’s “Savage Love” column in The Stranger. I’m not sure when I started signing posts “Love, Beastly,” but I remember a classmate in college came up with the idea of “Beastly” as a name rather than an adjective, and the nickname stuck. Many friends and lovers still use it.
I sent a question a while ago. Will it be answered?
Almost certainly. I receive many questions and some are harder to answer than others. My ability to answer quickly is occasionally impeded by time and work constraints, and I often consult experts, which slows down the process. All that said, I do not answer questions that are indecipherable or very, very long, and I don’t respond to multiple questions from the same email address.
Where can I see/purchase your art?
Please check out my art on Instagram. If you want to buy anything you see, please message me there. I am taking commissions.
I am looking for a writer. What is the best way to contact you?
Please email me via my website, alexcheves.com.
You do book readings and speaking events. What is the best way to contact you for an event?
Please contact my publisher at email@example.com or via the Unbound Edition Press contact page.
If I am interested in your companion work, how should I contact you?
Do you have an 18+ Twitter?