Are you single?
I am in a longtime open relationship with my boyfriend. #truelove
Is this blog only for gay men?
No. I think many of my readers are gay, bisexual, and queer men, but I write for all. I answer questions from queer folks, straight folks, young folks, old folks, and people all over the world. I appreciate messages and feedback from those with different views from mine.
That said, this blog is anti-racist, sex work-affirming, and sex-positive. Hate speech, particularly against the queer community, will not be responded to. I approve all comments before they are published.
I see toys and other products recommended in your posts. Are these brands paying you?
No. I do not have sponsored posts. My past work as a copywriter gave me access to many adult brands and pleasure products, but no client has ever paid me to promote their products here, and I would not do so if asked. The products I recommend are ones I have personally used.
I don’t see ads. How do you make money?
I don’t. This free blog is supported by readers. WordPress bans sites with “adult content” from hosting ads, so I cannot generate ad revenue. If you want to know how internet censorship like this affects websites like mine, read my report in Out Magazine about how harmful laws like FOSTA/SESTA target queer content.
Where else can I see your work?
Buy my book. Visit my website. I write a sex column for Out Magazine — please subscribe.
Why is your nickname “Beastly”?
This blog started as a classroom assignment in college — everyone had to start a blog and was graded on content, web traffic, and so on. Its original name was The Psycho Ex-Boyfriend until a British friend suggested changing “psycho” to “beastly” — an English term for “ugly” or “terrible”. The Beastly Ex-Boyfriend (TBXBF) was born. (Years later, I changed it to Love, Beastly.)
At the time, I was in a bad breakup. My ex was telling friends across campus how terrible I was. I started this blog in retaliation, intending it as a tell-all of the sex I was enjoying without him, knowing he would read it (he did). Those early posts were unkind and have been deleted.
I am grateful to him. He inspired this blog — which, in a way, launched my career. It generated buzz in the writing department and somehow got the attention of a queer magazine in Chicago, which hired me to write a sex column. That magazine no longer exists, but it led to an internship at The Advocate.
One day in class, that same British friend called me “Beastly” during a critique. Something electric fizzled in the air the moment he used that word as a nickname, and it stuck. It became my monicker in kink and, later, an identity that dogged me into every professional venture.
I sent you a question a while ago. Will it get answered?
Most likely: yes. I respond to nearly all messages.
When I get a message, I add it to a queue, so you might have to wait a bit before you see your question answered. To jump the line, become a supporter on Patreon. Along with other benefits, supporters get answers right away.
That said, I do not answer questions I cannot read or that are very long. I also do not respond to multiple messages from the same email address. This feels like spam, and I don’t like it.
Where can I buy your art?
Message me via my website.
I am looking for a writer. How can I contact you?
Please email me via my website.
You do speaking events. How can I contact you about an event?
Please email my publisher at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I am interested in your work as a sex coach. How should I contact you?
Email me via the Ask Beastly form or via my website.
Do you have an 18+ Twitter?
Sure do, but don’t expect much: @ffriendlybeast.