FAQ

How often do you post new content?

Every Monday morning. If you don’t see a post Monday morning, please check back Monday afternoon. Click the follow button at the bottom of any page to be notified when new posts publish.

Are you single?

No. But I’m still free to mingle.

What are you into sexually?

I’m attracted to all genders and gender expressions, but most of my sexual experience is with men. I’m very kinky. Read my posts to find out more.

Who is this blog for?

A substantial percentage of my readers are gay, bisexual, queer, and questioning men, but this blog is not exclusively for them. I welcome messages from women, nonbinary folks, straight folks, and all others. This blog is an anti-racist, trans-friendly, sex-positive corner of the internet where you’re free to ask anything — especially things that some consider “taboo.” No topic is off-limits.

I see toys and other products recommended in your posts. Are these companies paying you?

No. I do not have sponsored posts on this blog. My work as a copywriter has given me access to certain brands and their products, but none of my clients have paid me to promote their products here, and I would not do so if they asked. The products I recommend are ones I have personally used or have some experience with.

I don’t see any ads. How do you make money?

WordPress calls my blog “adult content,” even though none of my images show nudity, and therefore will not allow me to feature ads, create paid content, or accept donations through the WordPress platform. Demonetization is a common censorship tactic, a way to indirectly ban sex-oriented content. (Read my report in Out Magazine about how this censorship disproportionately targets the LGBTQ community.) For these reasons, this blog is 100% donation-supported, and I kindly ask for tips and monthly donations on Patreon at the start of every post. Every dollar you give helps me run this blog.

I love this blog! Where else can I see your writing?

I have a print sex column in Out Magazine, so be sure to subscribe! Check out my former sex column in The Advocate, and visit my website for a sampling of past and current projects. If you’re interested in my illustration work, check out my art on Instagram and DM me there regarding commissions.

Why is your nickname “Beastly”?

It’s a long story. This blog started as a class assignment in my last year in undergrad. Everyone in the class had to start a blog, and we were graded at the end of the class on our content, web traffic, and so on. This blog was originally titled “The Psycho Ex-Boyfriend” but a friend from London suggested changing the name from “psycho” to “beastly,” a British slang word for “nasty” or “terrible,” and “The Beastly Ex-Boyfriend” (or TBXBF) was born. At the time, I was going through a nasty breakup, and my ex was telling all our mutual friends how awful I was, so I started this blog in childish retaliation. I intended it to be a tell-all of the sex I was enjoying without him. Those early posts were mean-spirited and have since been deleted. The blog generated some buzz among the writing department and I started receiving messages from peers asking about sex. (I was president of the LGBTQ student group on campus, so questions like this were not especially uncommon.) But I did not make the leap to answering sex questions here until years later, and during that time, this blog waffled awkwardly between film reviews and personal posts. In the end, I actually took a cue from my friend Dan Savage’s “Savage Love” column in The Stranger. I’m not sure how I started signing posts “Love, Beastly,” but I think a classmate in college first came up with the idea of “Beastly” as a name instead of an adjective, and the nickname stuck. My friends and lovers still use it.

I sent a question a while ago. Will it be answered?

Almost certainly. I receive many questions and some are harder to answer than others. My ability to answer quickly is occasionally impeded by time and work constraints, and I often consult experts, which slows down the process. All that said, I do not answer questions that are indecipherable or over 300 words, and I don’t respond to multiple questions from the same email address.

You’re an illustrator! Where can I see/purchase your art?

Please check out my art on Instagram. If you want to buy anything you see, please message me there. I am taking commissions!

I’m looking for a writer and/or copywriter. What is the best way to contact you?

Please email me via my website, alexcheves.com. I am eager to speak with you!

Are you available for speaking engagements, radio/video spots, and other similar work?

I am! Please email me via my website, alexcheves.com.

If I am interested in your companion work, how should I contact you?

Feel free to email me at ASKBEASTLY@GMAIL.COM or message me via my RentMen (this link is NSFW).

Do you have an OnlyFans?

I have a JustForFans, which is similar to OnlyFans but better for performers. I must confess that I am not very active on there. My work is focused on companionship and authentic, healing experiences, not hardcore sex, and I think my clients appreciate a degree of anonymity — I never want to be an easily-recognized porn star. But if you want to see my kinky videos, feel free to subscribe!