Sext Better With the Signal App

My name is Alexander Cheves. My nickname is Beastly. I write about sex.

Have a question? Email askbeastly@gmail.com or go here.

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Hi my darlings,

I appreciate the nice messages, comments, edits, recommendations, corrections, and stories readers send to me in response to my posts. Some months ago I decided to start answering them. Most messages are very kind, and that’s very appreciated, but I also encourage readers to send me criticism, objections, and additional information for my readers, as I am not the sole authority on love and lust. Criticism makes me a better writer, objections give me another point of view, and additional information often helps my readers — I’ve even added reader-submitted info to relevant blog post (as I did with this post on coming out as a Christian teenager).

As always, if you like my work, please be a patron on my Patreon. You can support this blog for as little as $3/month. Patrons on Patreon help me run this site, cover blog costs, pay rent, and continue doing this. I chat with all my patrons personally and appreciate their ideas and feedback.

Hi Alexander,
Warm greetings from Finland. Just wanted to let you know that your writings are so good and useful! I am a psychotherapist and clinical sexologist and your writings are important to me personally and professionally.
Keep up the good work ❤

Hi my Finnish friend,

I’m very flattered, thank you so much. I’ve been thinking for some time of a career pivot and going back to school to be a sex therapist. Your endorsement gives me some encouragement.

I found your articles very informative. I’m not experienced too much but following your advice made anal feel good

Hi bottom brother,

I remember when anal first felt good to me. It took a few years after I started having sex, and when it finally happened, I realized what all the fuss was about. Congrats.

Sex Workers, Don’t Text Your Clients – BEASTLY
You talk about secure text and no mention of Signal? It’s the most secure, Snowden-approved, and it has a disappearing messages feature, you can set it to forget after hours, a day, or a week.
It has no cloud, so messages exist only on the devices you talk to, and it disappears on both.

Hi friend,

Thanks! I really appreciate this. Your message prompted me to do some research into the Signal app. (Read this fascinating report in TIME about how the app has been used by organizers of BLM protests.) When I asked my friends about the app, they were all surprised that I had never heard of it.

Signal appears to be the safest option, not just for sex workers texting clients but for anyone who wants to send slutty and explicit messages and minimize the risk that an employer or some other policing entity might see them. I’ve started using it to message clients and guys I meet online who aren’t comfortable discussing kinks, taboos, and hardcore sex via text. Some guys like to role-play via text, and in role-play, one can inadvertently say things that would be alarming — and potentially incriminating — out of context. (If you’re not using Signal or some other encrypted messaging app, I would not recommend engaging in fantasy role play over text.)

Edward Snowden, an American hero, is quoted on the Signal site as saying, “I use Signal every day.” For readers: the app provides end-to-end encryption to keep texts secure and gives you the option of making your texts disappear after a certain amount of time. Signal can’t read your messages or listen to your calls and no one else can either.

Hey Alexander
Great article u wrote for the advocate. A no-nonsense smart talk about what it takes to be a great bottom. I bet u are a fun pig to take care of. I checked out your Instagram pics…hot bubble ass. U visit sf often? Huge rimmer here…love to taste your pighole and give u a slow deep breeding.
D*****

Hi D*****,

I wish I knew which article you’re referencing, but thanks! I don’t make it to San Francisco often. I briefly tried to live there some years ago and it was a disaster. The city has harbored a place in my heart ever since — a strange mixture of fear and longing.

Honestly, San Francisco scares me. I don’t think I’ll ever put down roots there, but it’s fun to dip through. If you see me in a local bar, tap me on the shoulder and tell me who you are (you may need to pull up this post to jog my memory).

I just found an article of yours very interesting and ended reading your blog, just wanted to say thank you for helping others in trying to find their own limits and expand their pleasure. Greeting from Spain

Hi friend,

Thank you for reading my work — all the way in Spain! Everyone deserves pleasure.

Hi friend,

Thanks for watching the videos. When you’re ready to come out — something you’re allowed to do in your own time and when you feel comfortable — you have a world of people waiting for you, including me. Love from Beastly.

I just read your “17 Tips for Happier, Healthier Bottoming” Article and I just have to say thank you! And what have you done?! Lol….but seriously thank you, especially tip 17, I needed to read that. Happy bottoming 🍑✨

Hi mate,

I’m particularly proud of tip 17, so for my readers, I’ll share it below.

There is a lot of bottom shaming in the world. Invariably bottoms are the ones that get teased and mocked the most in gay discourse, and tops glorified. There is a very ugly, misogynist, heteronormative reason for this that invariably comes from the idea that guys who fuck are a step closer to being “straight” and even “male” while guys who get fucked are automatically feminized, degraded, “gayer,” and a step closer to “women.” The deeply misogynist and homophobic tones of this discourse should not be surprising, since misogyny is no stranger to gay culture and some of the worst homophobes in the world are gay men who direct this hatred at themselves and their own kind. 

When I first came out of the closet, I announced myself as a top. I did this so that the straight men around me would see me closer to being an equal. I was afraid of femininity and afraid of what I perceived as gay stereotypes and “flamboyance,” and I did everything I could to appear differently — including calling guys “bro” and topping only (badly, I might add). 

My topping phase lasted through two brief college relationships before I accepted a truth that I had known all along: I was a bottom. And not just any kind of bottom. I wanted to be unable to sit afterward. I masturbated to the idea of using Preparation H after a rough night to decrease the swelling. I wanted my hole wrecked. 

When I finally tried to carry out these fantasies, I could not take anything bigger than a pinky finger. But I worked at it and learned by body and made mistakes, and now I can enjoy hours of marathon sex and go exercising the next day — no Preparation H required.

I am a bottom without shame or apology. I love my butt, I love men, and I love men being in my butt. The next time you go hunting, do so with confidence and self-love. You are not lucky to find a good top — a good top is lucky to find you. 

The Advocate Magazine, 2016