I would like to know if you have any writing or if you could write about Puppy Play. I’m very curious about that fetish, but honestly I don’t know where to start. What are the practices? How to find or be able to start In the role? Many doubts… can you help me?
For those who don’t know, puppy play is a “scene” (effectively a microculture) in kink/BDSM in which people bark, move about on their hands and knees, and sometimes have sex — sometimes kinky sex (involving bondage, gear, and so on) — in the “pup” role. The stereotype of a human pup is a cute, playful submissive who is cared for and loved by a dominant “handler” or “owner.” Sex may be involved.
It may seem very important to you right now that you “start” correctly, but by asking the question and showing interest, you’ve already started. There is no gateway, no rite of passage, to pup play or any fetish practice. There is no standard version of puppy play — no set practices, no essential gear, no prerequisites. You do what you want.
Many people ask me questions like this, and these questions illuminate a widespread misconception about what, exactly, kink and BDSM is. Fetish scenes are not official, universal cultures. There are no standard practices, no script you must perform. You create the role and write the script. No one can tell you your version of pup play is wrong. (Well, they can, but their opinion is irrelevant to your life.)
Kink is something you invent anew every time you do it. Most kinky people adhere to preset scenes and practices — to publicized and long-practiced bondage methods or to the pageantry and ritual of leather culture — but doing so is not required. There is no kink police to tell someone their arousal to flowerpots doesn’t belong in kink (it certainly counts as a fetish). They could gather a bunch of horny flowerpot lovers together and decide they’re “potters” and enjoy “pot play,” and their kink scene would be just as authentic as the one enjoyed by people who wear dog-like hoods and bark on all fours.
Objectively speaking, “pot play” is just as arbitrary and absurd as any other scene in kink, pup play included. Life is arbitrary and absurd, and sometimes the most ridiculous things we do as living creatures are the most enjoyable. Fisting is not logical — it is, in fact, very dangerous to stick your hand or arm up up someone’s rectum — but evidence suggests we’ve been doing this for thousands of years and it’s so beautiful that many people consider it a religious, out-of-body experience.
You don’t have to look hard on the internet to find what others think puppy play is. Generally speaking, you act like a dog, sometimes in gear, sometimes in a sexual capacity, around other pups or with pup “handlers.” But that’s just the generic, common version. Some pups interpret the scene as something vastly different. Even within connected communities, there are great differences between practitioners. Your version may be very different from someone else’s and all versions are valid.
Getting started is easy. Find someone you have sexual chemistry with, communicate your interest in your version of pup play, and see if they’re game to try it. That’s all you do.
I read your article in the Advocate about tickling, it’s many methods tools and formats. Could spanking, if not severe, be a form of tickling? Doesn’t this type of palpation like tickling sensitize?
Sure, spanking can tickle. Pretty much anything can tickle if someone is sensitive enough. There will never be an exhaustive list of ticklish things. I know a guy who went into fits when a nipple clamp was placed on the skin of his kneecap.
Generally speaking, spanking falls under “corporal punishment,” which, as the name suggests, includes fetish acts that hurt the body. Corporal punishment includes paddling, flogging, whipping, slapping, and so on. I can’t say for certain that kinky people into corporal punishments consider tickling one of them, but — as I told the person above — you never have to care what anyone else thinks. If you like tickling and your sub laughs from getting spanked, tickle-spank them to your heart’s content.