When It’s Time To Move On

MY NAME IS ALEXANDER. MY NICKNAME IS BEASTLY. I WRITE ABOUT SEX.

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I just found out recently that this one guy I genuinely liked wasn’t interested in me at all or even really found me attractive just wanted me for sex? What should I do? Should I continue associating with him or just move on?

Hi sweetie,

It’s time to move on. But I have some questions. First, how do you know your information is correct? How did you find this out? Did he ever express interest in you?

These questions may not be what you want to hear, but if he had sex with you — and it sounds like he did — then he at least found you attractive enough to fuck. But that’s not the same thing as wanting to date you. If dating was your intention and you communicated that to him, he’s not interested and you need to move on.

It’s fine for him (and anyone) to only want sex. If he led you to believe he wanted more, three things may be happening. One, you may have misread his signals and believed he was expressing interest in a relationship when he wasn’t (some people are just nice, and some people misread niceness as romantic interest). Two, he may have been interested at one point but is no longer interested now. Or three, he may have been intentionally trying to fuck you over for fun, which some guys do. In all three cases, you should move on.

If the sex was good, consider keeping him as a fuck friend. Fuck friends are great. You never have to remember his birthday and can fall in and out of communication with him without any sense of obligation.

Then again, if you’re interested in him as more than a casual sex partner, I advise against trying to make him a fuck friend. If he’s not interested now, he probably won’t be interested in the future, so waiting around through repeat fuck sessions for him to “come around” will hurt you more in the long run. There are more guys out there — to date and fuck. Send this one to the discard pile.

Love, Beastly